Too Much Risk
by iaymm
Summary: 'Going Home' - what did Regina see when she picked up the scroll and what did it mean? SWAN QUEEN. ONESHOT.


**Too Much Risk. **

**This hiatus is driving me crazy and I suddenly got the desire to do this so it wasn't planned and I haven't spent a lot of time on it. I hope it's okay and that you all like it!  
ONESHOT.**

* * *

"It's not our price… it's mine. I have to say goodbye to the thing I love most."  
Regina knew Emma would assume she was talking about Henry but she couldn't help the wave of disappointment wash over her when the other woman immediately turned to call their son forwards. She had hoped that Emma would sense that she had not only meant Henry but also Emma herself; if only because she was too cowardly to admit her feelings outright. As Regina told the group what she knew about the curse and the price it would take, she couldn't help but keep going over the vision she had seen when she picked up the scroll.

_Regina was stood in her garden, like she had many times before but this time something was different. She was laughing and she wasn't alone. Henry was stood across from her talking to her animatedly. He looked older. As she looked around she noticed more people and realised that this was a party. Whenever she caught someone's eye they would smile or wave, it was so different from the glares or frightened gasps she received now.  
As she watched, Emma emerged from inside the house carrying a huge blue-iced cake and the crowd started to sing. It was Henry's birthday, Regina realised. Emma carried the cake right up to where Regina and Henry stood, yelling "Happy birthday, Kid, make a wish!"  
Regina read what was written on top of the cake over and over again, unable to believe what she saw. 'Happy 18__th__ Birthday Henry!' After someone, David she thinks, took the cake away to cut it up she was still left staring at the spot where it had been. She wasn't sure how long she would have been left staring if someone hadn't come up and wrapped their arm around her waist while kissing her cheek. Startled, Regina glanced up into a face with green eyes surrounded by neatly-curled blonde hair. _

She was sure the vision had been showing her what she desired most. A life with Henry _and _Emma, so that she knew what she would be giving up – making what she had to do to save the town that much harder. Regina knew magic always had a price, but she had never known magic to be cruel enough to show anyone what exactly it would mean to pay it. Regina had never been as sure of the depth of her feelings for Emma as she was in that moment. The group started making their way to the town line - everyone agreed that Emma and Henry needed to get out as soon as possible.

Regina was watching Emma saying goodbye to Hook when a thought occurred to her. Maybe the vision wasn't a cruel piece of magic but rather the opposite. Maybe, it was trying to tell her how to stop the curse completely, if it wasn't just a vision of what she desired but an actual prediction of what the future could be then that would mean that Emma returned her feelings… and maybe true loves kiss could break the curse. Regina herself had said earlier, 'you're the saviour and you were created to break the curse.'

If she wasn't surrounded by a group of people then Regina would have laughed at herself. She was so desperate to get her happy ending that she was imagining a simple solution to a hugely complicated problem – a solution that involved Emma being in love with her. How could Emma possibly love her? She was the Evil Queen, after all.  
Regina knew she had to save Emma and Henry but couldn't bear the thought of them being out in the world with two lives in their heads. Having to keep one secret or having no one believe it, she knew from observing Jefferson that it was enough to tear anyone apart. She could keep them from that fate, but it would be an incredibly difficult thing for her to do – not because of the amount of magic it would take but what it would mean for herself. She had to erase Storybrooke from their memories and that would include erasing all their memories of her, but she knew she would do it right this time. She would replace these memories with new ones. Emma would have never given Henry up and they would have an amazing life together. They would never have to know what they had lost.

As she took a step closer to Emma, reaching for her hand, to explain how this new curse would affect her and Henry, a war was raging within her mind. Had her vision truly shown her the price of this curse? Or was it something entirely different? Could it quite possibly have been the solution instead? True loves kiss was, after all, the most powerful magic… but in order for the kiss to work, both participants had to be in love with the other and Regina had no evidence that the blonde's feelings for her were anything above the beginnings of a friendship.

By now she had waited too long – when she glanced over her shoulder she could see the smoke creeping ever closer and knew she had to make a decision. It was either let Emma and Henry leave town, losing all memories of their life in Storybrooke or take the risk and kiss Emma. But the risk was high. If the kiss didn't work, Emma and Henry would be caught in the curse, Emma would return to the Enchanted Forest and Henry would be left alone standing where Storybrooke once was with no memories of his life up until that point. He would completely forget his two mothers that loved him. He wouldn't think he even had one.

Regina loved Emma but she could never and would never risk Henry's life. Pushing aside her desire to do what she had wanted to for so long now she stepped aside in order for Emma to say goodbye to the mother she had gotten so little time with before turning and getting in the Bug to take their son to safety.

Regina turned and began the process of manipulating Pans curse to her wishes, with a single tear rolling down her cheek and her mind on the two people she loved most in the world.

* * *

Emma had never felt so hopeless. Even when Henry had been a victim of the sleeping curse she still found a solution but here there was nothing she could do. As her bug crossed the town line, the last thought she would ever have concerning her life in Storybrooke wasn't about the parents she had spent her life searching for or the home she had found in the town, but for her love for the woman she had had to leave behind.


End file.
